


Clint “human disaster" Barton

by mollynoble



Series: Winterhawk Oneshots [3]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, First Meetings, M/M, Meet-Ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 18:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9619607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollynoble/pseuds/mollynoble
Summary: Bucky sat at his red light and watched the man walking along the edge of the road. It was definitely an intriguing sight, one Bucky had never seen the likes of before. It seemed straight out a romantic comedy, the sad part when the protagonist thought all hope was lost before they managed to win over the love interest. There really should have been a swell of melancholy music.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Day One of Kisses from Cupid: Person A finds Person B wandering along the side of the road with a bouquet of roses and a torn suit AU.
> 
> Thanks to [RegularPolyhedra](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RegularPolyhedra) for the super fast and helpful beta.

Bucky sat at his red light and watched the man walking along the edge of the road. It was definitely an intriguing sight, one Bucky had never seen the likes of before. It seemed straight out a romantic comedy, the sad part when the protagonist thought all hope was lost before they managed to win over the love interest. There really should have been a swell of melancholy music.

The shoulder of the man’s suit jacket was ripped nearly clean off, his tie loosened and top buttons undone, dress shoes scuffed and dirty, his hair plastered to his head in the rain, and in his hands what had surely started out as a perfectly nice bouquet of purple roses was a tired mess of stems and crushed petals. 

Bucky seriously considered continuing on his way and letting this moment just become an odd anecdote, but he found he couldn't do it. The man simply looked too pathetic and he couldn't find it in his heart to leave him in this state. Making the decision he turned right instead of left and pulled over onto the side of the road, just ahead of the man. He rolled down the passenger side window and leaned across the center console.

“You need a ride?” He called out.

“Aww man, you have no idea,” the man answered. He clambered in, pulling the door shut behind him and then struggled into his seat belt. When he finally settled, he paused, staring at the bouquet in his hands as if unsure what to do with it.

Bucky busied himself turning up the heat and rolling the window back up, hoping to give the stranger a moment to gather his thoughts.

“So where can I take you?” Bucky asked, breaking the silence

He rattled off an address, only a ten minute drive away. Bucky pulled back onto the road.

“Seriously man, I appreciate this. My phone’s dead so I couldn’t call a ride. I was sure I was gonna have to make the hike all the way home. It wasn’t so bad before the rain started up, but that would've sucked.”

Bucky gave into his curiosity, “So what's the story here? Date or anniversary gone wrong?”

The man laughed, “Oh no, nothing like that. I was supposed to be the maid-of-honor in my buddy Wade’s wedding.”

“Supposed to be?” 

He chuckled, “Yeah, I tried tell him surprise weddings aren't necessarily the best plan but Wade doesn't really listen to anyone.”

“A surprise wedding?”

“Yep, and not surprisingly Peter wasn't thrilled, which is how I found myself kicked out of the back of the limo.”

“Well I guess I'm sorry to hear that.”

“No worries, I'm sure by now they've already kissed and made up; they've got one of those crazy roller coaster relationships.” The man’s affection for his friends was clear.

“The best part is this isn't even the first surprise wedding. I mean at least they were actually dating this time; the first time Wade tried this they’d barely known each other a week.” He then launched into an explanation on how this surprise wedding was far superior to the last one.

Though apparently, he had preferred Wade’s dress from surprise wedding number one. According to him the A-line pleated v-neck with corded lace fan at the waistline and bow in back had been much classier and more flattering. This time's strapless metallic-beaded lace trumpet gown was a bit tacky and he was just not huge fan.

Bucky had never given wedding dresses much thought before, so he did his best to nod along and make noises of agreement while the stranger continued his tirade with increasing intensity. He found himself amused and impressed by the man’s passion on the topic, although he grew increasingly concerned for the bouquet of roses that were being waved about to punctuate his points.

He had just started in on veil or no veil when Bucky pulled in front of the address he had been given, but the man didn't appear to notice and continued in on lace versus taffeta. Bucky didn't have anywhere pressing to be so he waited patiently for an opening before clearing his throat. 

“We're here.” He gestured to the apartment building they were parked in front of.

“Oh my gosh I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay,” Bucky reassured him.

“Aw man, I am so embarrassed, you're being like super nice and I'm acting like a total weirdo.” 

“It's okay, really I don't mind,” Bucky was grinning now.

There was a pause where they both sat there staring at each other, before the man jerked into motion.

“This is the part where I get out. I'm sorry, I'm such a spaz.” He opened the door and tried to get out, however, he forgot to unlatch his seat belt first and was unceremoniously yanked back into the vehicle.

Bucky couldn't help the full-throated laugh as the man cursed and struggled, trying to extract himself from the car. He finally managed to get himself out and stood there looking down forlornly at the bundle of stems in his hand and then at Bucky's passenger seat, floor, center console and Bucky himself covered with purple rose petals.

“Aw, flowers, no.”

Bucky couldn't help but laugh even harder.

“Man I am so sorry, I'll clean it up.” He reached in and started plucking and sweeping the rose petals out of the car and into the street where the wind whisked them away.

Bucky managed to get his laughter in the control and reached out to try and help brush the petals out. It was at this moment, both of them leaning over at the center console that their foreheads crashed together. Even through the pain in his head Bucky couldn't help but collapse back into his seat bursting out into renewed laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation. He looked up through the tears welling out of his eyes to see the man had sat down on the curb, his head in his arms on the passenger seat.

“I have never met such a personification of a human disaster in my life,” Bucky got out in between his chuckles.

“I'm so so so sorry,” he groaned, without lifting his head from his arms.

Bucky reached over and pulled a pen out of his glove box, then fished an old receipt out of the cup holder. 

“Don't worry about the mess, I think they add a nice aesthetic,” he said as he scribbled on the back of the receipt. 

“Here,” Bucky poked the man in the shoulder and when he lifted his head held out the receipt to him.

“What's this,” he asked.

“My number. If you ever manage to make it all the way inside in one piece, give me a call sometime and we can have coffee or drinks or something,” Bucky said with a shrug.

“Seriously. You're giving me your number and asking me out after this shoddy performance?”

“Yeah, I’ve probably made better decisions, but I'm sure I’ve made worse. And you're cute and hilarious and I need to know what happens next in The Saga of Wade and Peter. I'm Bucky by the way.” 

“I'm Clint,” he was grinning ear-to-ear as he stuffed the receipt in his pocket. “I will most definitely be calling you, Bucky.”

Standing up, he managed to knock his head on the frame of the car and then tripped backwards over the curb. However, he did manage to keep his feet before staggering a few steps away to stand in front of the apartment building. One hand still holding the depressing bouquet, the other rubbed the back of his head as he grinned sheepishly before giving an awkward wave goodbye with the stems.

Bucky, doing his best to keep a straight face, called out as Clint turned to walk away, “You mind closing my door first?”

Clint whipped back around, stepped quickly up to the car and slammed the door shut before turning to flee, probably hoping to avoid any more embarrassing moments. Unfortunately, in his enthusiasm to shut the door he caught his suit jacket and managed to rip it nearly in half in his haste to escape. Inside the car Bucky he could not hear whatever curses spilled from Clint but he could clearly see the mix of embarrassment and resignation on his face. Bucky decided to put the poor man out of his misery, held hand up to his ear and mouthed ‘call me’ then waved goodbye with a smile before pulling away from the curb.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://mollynoble.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
